didn't go to school today cause i overslept. sigh. :|

so i stayed home, and was watching full house for hours now. sigh! i am ashamed by what i did. cause i'm not working hard for what i should. instead i'm watching shows after shows and i feel like a couch potato. literally. i feel like a potato without it's skin. like so big and fair cause i lack the sunlight.

omygah. and i downloaded limewire again, but i don't know how to do the files thing (xian?) and i accidentally deleted ALL my songs in the computer. all. omygoodness. thats like so stupid. sheesh.

hello there, pamela who looks like a potato.

gawd. this entry is redundant and it's lame. and rain is so hot and nice too.
the song fate- by why which is fullhouse's OST. is so nice. aww.

and i'm lagging behind everyone, people watched fullhouse last year and i'm watching now. woww. and today is thursday, don't know why blogger is still on wednesday. and i've got some stupid chinese orchestra show later, probably i'll go there to catch up on my sleep, like what many people intend do teehee.

man, schools draining my energy, physically and mentally. well maybe it's due to my late night drama shows. it's so addictive that even though my head hurts like anything, i still force myself to sit through that episode, and the next and the next.

if only i show equal fervor for my school work and such. man, i think i'll do better then the state i am in now. sheesh, today i just zonked out during chem practical. while she was doing through the important details i dozed off and went into lala land. man, it felt so so good.

and i went to watch X3 too! missed the first part though, when the very handsome scott summers died. had macs and then took a bus down to mr k's. and omgoodness, i do know my math isn't good, but today was the worst man. i was asking either juliana, tabs or janice my questions. like i was the slowest and almost all of the questions that i did was due to the help i got. sheesh.

goodness, and when i got home i tried to sign into my account in the computer and i realised that my mum has changed the password. damnit. i stored all my favorite websites under my favourites and it's all gone until the end of the year. thank goodness i have my trusty gmail account. i sent emails to myself cause i want the links. cause i'm deprived! =)

watching x-men tomorrow, probably.

whose up for da vinci?

anyway guess what! today i met zi hui while i was on my way to the bus stop. like wayy early. haha, then when i wanted to board the bus, i saw our chief invigilator coming down from the bus! and he wore the exact same clothes as yesterday! tight pants and all. lol. and he gave me a stiff smile. like :|

my eyes are glued to the screen, watching shows off youtube again and again, movies after movies, series after series. ohmygah. and my o levels is oh-so-soon. and i'm relaxing. geez.

sigh pamela, sigh, five more months to go, and i'm not prepared at all i'm watching korean movies, taiwan idol dramas, reading comics, reading trashy magazines, sleeping, swooning at how handsome the lead actor is and wish my life would be oh-so-like-the-shows, and how fairytales portray how human lives was supposed to be. purrfecto. but uh-uh, i'm suppose to study right?

and my mum is going to remove my account in this computer since she says that my o's are coming soon. im quite pissed initially, but what the heck, it has always been like this and it'll always be. pfft.

purrfecto not.

ohh how nice if life was like a fairytale.

but it'll be boring. still it'll be nice.

ok, i think i should cut down on my taiwan drama series. sigh, big big sigh.

my chinese o's! screwed. guess what i did? i memorised si han by hard heart. and wow the question was too difficult to comprehend so i spent half an hour on my si han and then i realised that i didn't want to do si han cause i didn't know how to continue. and then i did gong han for half an hour, and since i've always neglected my gong han i don't know what else to write.

my bao zhang was oh-kay i wrote 3 and a half long pages. maybe it's due to the paper. but anyway i'm sure i went off topic. and omgah, the paper 2, my written compre was so messy! my words was all over, cause i wrote it all wrongly and omgah.

nvm. *breathes* it's over, and i'm gonna retake it man. sigh!

anyways my holidays are here! except for the two weeks of school, i can take a short short break. man, i'm anticipating church camp.

chinese o's is over!! *skips*

and the chief invigilator seems kind of odd? with tight pants and all.

sigh! back to school tomorrow in my hot and stinking uniform. and if the school reads this i'm probably screwed. but i'm not discriminating anyone directly so i think i'm assuring myself.

see what chinese does to you? makes you blog stuffs that doesn't link with each other, makes you have bad dreams and makes you hungry.

ok to end on a good note : i'm flat broke, but i still want to catch x-men the last stand, so who wants to watch that show with me on friday at a cheapskate theatre namely the 'princess theatre' down at bedok. (somewhere along the line.) let me know! and i can make in after school about 1?

and to my cell! =) yesterday whilst on the way home i realised that i liked the ECP outing we had last june and i decided to have one again. it's a very random thing so anyway details are.

venue: ECP
doing ... : don't know? random. swim in the sea, dinner. some requested going for MS too.
day and date: saturday, 17 of june ( camp week. )
time? : afternoon till God-knows-when. =)

let me know too! now God bless the rests and have a victorious week! :)

footnote: was reading xiaxue's blog and she said something about the show maury and i checked it up on youtube. found this particular episode interesting! click HERE!!

oh, ignore this entry, i just want to blog about this sick dream i had yesterday night. gosh.

it's not sick in the sense that it's lewd or whatever. but i had this dream that i stayed in a flat up high at the 20th level. and just across my block is this girl, pretty, demure, sweet looking. but omg, i don't know why but everything changed, from a nice white sky it became dark and all i could see was that girl who had this evil stare, was glaring at some innocent girl who was made to cling against the parapet and cling for her dear life.

and then that evil sweet looking girl started to throw stones from a level above, aiming directly at her fingers so as to make her lose or grip or something, and then she fell, to her death from twenty levels up high. and the screams was unbearable. goodness.

and that girl went on a killing spree, killing and killing girl after girl, same way for each one. and one day it was my turn. she didn't kill me cause suddenly some part off pris comic came up (i don't know why) and everything became okay again. omgah. i just woke up and look around and fell asleep. and the entire dream just plays over and over in my head goodness.

oh, nevermind. sometimes dreams just says something about life. and i don't know what this means but maybe it has to do with my o levels? maybe i won't do well, maybe this maybe that. maybe i'll fall off the parapet like my dream fly up high in the sky.

i would. and i'll fly. second entry for today, i'm going to screw up my life at this rate. i'll study now.

call upon the name of the Lord and be saved.

i'm sixty bucks richer, but looking at the amount that i owe, i feel poorer then ever. how much longer do i have to save, to pay back all that i owe? forever maybe.

anyhoo, chinese o's is in two freaking days time, and i'm not fretting and i'm not doing anything. i mean it's the o levels man, the paper where i'm going to throw down eleven years of knowledge into. and i'm blogging. wow. sheesh. there's something wrong somewhere.

have been feeling very tired lately, all i want to do is sleep, and all i did was to sleep. i slept for eleven hours yesterday, and i feel so tired, as if i had not slept for months. sheesh. ohmygah.

pris ignited my love for comics! ohmy, it's just so sweet the way the characters are portrayed? as if japan is an ideal place to be where everything is just so superficial.

anyway i went for my backbone checkup today, and the greatest news is that i do not have to go back for any follow-ups whatsoever anymore! =) cause apparently my bones have matured fully and i should do more swimming as that strengthens the back. and the pain at my tailbone is caused by sitting down for a long time and i have to stretch too.

gee. and after check up i had tuition. with my chinese tutor of course, and it's my last lesson. i have mixed feelings, i mean i don't like her, but after teaching me for three and a half long years, i feel sad that i won't have to have her lesson anymore. but whatever, i should be happy and i will be. =)

sigh, chinese oh chinese. just two days more, why can't i just give in my all for these two days and just be as free as anything after that?

goodness pamela, look what you've done.

i want to learn pilates. maybe after my olevels? who wants? =))

and had photo-taking today, made me sad cause it's the last year with my class, three short years! and anyway our graduation theme is so weird? and my mum says that she might just take me to a friend of hers to get my dress done. everyone say yay! =)

mr jega talked about cca points today? and going by the old system i'll probably get 5 points which allows me to take a point off o levels. sigh! one point is important. and now, i don't know what i want to do, where i want to go. and my grades are so pathetic. where can i go anyway! nvm. i better pull up my socks and buck up so that i'll get a choice next time. sigh! i wish.

and the librarian is leaving! how sad. i'll miss her.
anyway that's marks and spencer's triple chocolate crunch, it's really nice? cause the chocolates taste like real chocolates! in a cereal! lovely. and i'll post up a clearer picture soon, cause i can't find one online now?

and anyway i said that i'll do something on guide dogs? well somewhere last week juliana tab and i saw a guide dog. and i love guide dogs! well cause they're so well trained that they don't bite (probably).

watch this video HERE!!! it's about the show quill. it's very very cute! i've got the show, but i can't lend it out cause it's my brother's and it's kinda boring but when you really sit and listen it's very very very very very nice.









sigh, how cute. =) i know it's not much of an entry. but the dogs are simply too adorable! =) and they help the blind too! so it's nice huh.

and these dogs don't just get put to sleep after they're done with their jobs. unlike those police dogs? out to sniff drugs. miss wong said that they are put to sleep just after 4 yrs or so?

for obvious reasons. sigh.

note to self : blog about guide dogs cause it's an interesting topic to blog on, instead of rambling on about my neighbour's hideous house.

and by the way, they added some wall thingie that blocks out the wind from my window. think: open window and you see a wall.

So much is happening to me.
So much that I can't even see.
So many words of wisdom that I am trying to be.
Catch me if I should fall.
And even more so while I'm standing tall.

sigh. my neighbours are at the drilling thing now, they're adding poles everywhere, i don't know why cause it's ugly.

i hope they don't find my blog ( which is a high chance :) cause their kids are very young. but kids these days are getting cleverer right? ) so anyway they knocked down daphne's very nice house and added in a very hideous kitchen and knocked down daphne's balcony and added a very ugly room with an extended balcony which is also very ugly. and it's all wood everywhere! omgosh. it's the first time i'm seeing a house made of wood, they changed the garden to a wooden deck, and the kitchen comes all the way back that the back of my home doesn't get much light. sigh! i swear they turned a very very nice house into one that's simply too ugly beyond me. i guess the nicest is just the family and the dog. not too sure about the family though, the lady keeps asking me weird questions, and she blabbers on. while her husband is so straight forward that he told his wife not to talk to me. and added in some retarded reason to it. sigh!

if it wasn't for all the knocking, i think they're just fine. but sigh, with the knocking and the hideous looking house, i'm so so so glad im moving! yay! :) and oh, my neighbour has this really really bright lamp that is situated in the middle of nowhere, and it's so bright that they don't off it at night and it just shines right into my room. goodness, imagine if my family is so childish to complain and we end up fighting, you'll see a childish senario of the 'joo chiat' family repeating.

tsk. all i do is complain, somehow i miss my old neighbours! gosh, it's hard to adapt with two new neighbours living next to you.

anyway! o levels is in six days time and i'm not prepared. i guess i'll get probably at c6? or worse. ok blogging is becoming a chore now, and my life revolves around chinese, which dampens my mood. and imagine sitting on a chair for three hours straight listening to lao shi talk. it's unbearable, just sitting on the chair. and i can't talk, i don't understand i feel so dumb. goodness. and phototaking is on thursday, and my class is clueless as to what we're going to do. moreover my hair is in a mess, everyday is bad hair day. :(

gah, i'm blogging junk. and i can't wait till next monday, when chinese is over. and just two more lessons of my tutor's class and it's over. ah, i'm relishing at the thought of it.

ok thats all, at the rate i'm blogging, i think i'm a terrible bore.

wanted to watch ai qing mo fa shi now, but since my sis says that i'll disturb her if i did. she's doing her question for cell now, and it's so last minute! =) see, now you know we share the same blood. i'm procrastinating. like how my zuo wenS are sitting on my table waiting to be done, and my chinese homework is collecting dust.

sigh! i had chem and chinese tuition today and when adeline went through my chem paper, i nearly fainted, i gave freaking 8 marks away, like freebies. gosh, i should kill myself. and my chinese teacher said that my chinese isn't good cause i don't revise my work like i ought to do so and such. it's so tiring to pack two tuitions on a nice saturday. i was asleep -literally- during chinese lesson, and had to wash my face twice, but obviously it didn't work.

gosh, i admire people who actually got a single digit for their overall o levels. gosh, cause it's impossible. at least for now. gosh. anyway i met my neighbour just now when my dog ran over next door just cause he saw this very adorable female shetland. and sparks flew and i think my dogs like her. ahh i love that breed! those type of dogs are simply the cutest! and when their fur grows it becomes nice and long and all of them will look ladylike, even if they're male. pretty!

just like a collie. =)

shetland sheepdog =)

collie!

pretty! hard to maintain though, but it's pretty and soft and comfy. ahhh. haha.

my dog's the best! =)
alrights, mt o's in a weeks time, plus a day. gah!

anyway i lied to my tutor that i won't retake ever. but obviously i am, but i can't tell her that i won't want her to teach me right in her face right? oops. i lied again.

i saw your face in a crowded place, and i don't know what to do, cause i'll never be with you...

sigh! why do i feel so inactive online? everytime i come online is to watch videos. well guess thats all i do now, the internet has become boring.

anyway, over dinner just now, my parents told me that they're going on a week-long holiday to God-knows-where with my sister and them. and i'm not going! wow. :(

and i begged my mum to let me go for church camp, afterall it's just three or four days off my june holidays! and guess what! she said no! wow, so i said that exams won't start until after september, and after much pestering she agreed. =)

and i haven't told her about my results, my dreadful stupid disgusting results. i won't mull over it cause i'm focusing all my attention on my chinese! =) guess what my mum said! she said if i pass with a c6 i can choose to not retake. wow, hahaha so i told her until i get my b3 i will retake but quit my tuition.

so i guess after two lessons for chinese it'll be the last i see of my tutor. now thats good news. sigh but passing itself is a problem. gee. why chinese.

and anyway about my mye results i failed geog, can you believe it? well i wasn't surprised cause i didn't study much and my results was so crap, mrs kauthar gave me a face. sigh you know the make-you-feel-guilty face? and mrs lim said she is very very disappointed in me.

guess you know what i failed now. anyway i'm off to change my template and my tagboard. sigh! why must it be fixed just after i changed it? gah.

where did my social life go?
gah! stupid stupid thoughts.

hi! i just changed my template. and i'm in school. gah haha.

and xian i changed my tagboard, so i doubt you can see it.

so anyway!! my results is so crap. gah. give me a sundae!! =)

farhana yes i like sundaes and throw in an ice kachang too!

i couldn't sign into friendster awhile ago. and now i can! =)

and my tagboard isn't working. so i can't reply tags.

goodness, chinese chinese. it's ironic that i am born into a chinese speaking family and yet my chinese is beyond hope. gosh. o levels is in 13 days time wow! i don't know what to do. even my tutor is shaking her head in desperation (as always). cause my chinese is so basic.

i can memorise, but i can't understand. i can speak, but i can't read or write. and i'm a chinese. wow! how am i to survive in future. everyone is telling me that china is going to rise up and take over the economy and such. so i must speak chinese well in order to earn a living in future. even ang-mohs are learning chinese.

gah!

and my eyes are shutting. youtube is down, and i didn't watch my drama serial yesterday night.

i like taiwanese idol dramas cause it's nice and it's superfical, and it gives you that glimpse of hope of having something you know you won't get in reality. wow. like how fairytales were created to make life look easy. =)

yawn. there's school tomorrow so i guess i can't watch my drama serials until o's are over and i've got a pile of books that i've yet to read. sigh, now when i read books, i take forever. it's like a page a day. and i've lost all the passion i have for anything gosh. books are like books, food is like food, and TV is just my addiction. i even stop yearning to sleep. wow. i just play with my dogs all day! haha i long for a day when i can sit in a middle of a field in a nice cold country side, and play with dogs in the winter, and let the snow fall on my face. =)

i love the cold! why doesn't anybody else.

say cheese!

hey all. was watching some show off YouTube and it's addictive. and i'm so lazy that i didn't upload the photos yet! gah. julie how about me emailing it to you?

sigh. had a good talk with my dad today, and well, he did say quite a few things and i heard some part and it made me think like wow. there he is doing so well, and here i am blogging like some moron with just twenty five dollars in my bank account. i've spent all my money already as you can see.

and i think my mum knows about my foolish secret. she has been asking some really weird questions and my brother and sister has to cover up for me. sigh. see, paper can't wrap around fire. gosh, imagine the day when every thing is exposed i think she'll feel betrayed and stupid like how can i fool her for so so long. and i know that feeling is gonna suck, and she'll probably do those stuffs she did to me back in primary school. sigh. lying sucks, i do not want to lie, but... some circumstances in this world cause people to lie. my mum used to asked me 'who taught me to lie?' and i told her nobody but me. but thats the truth right? i didn't pick up lying from some random person. and whatever man, i thought lying can solve everything but thats just another lie to yourself.

and my lies was always exposed to my mum, so i guess it'll be the same as long as i live. gosh, maybe i should just stop this stupid secret. and cancel everything, live life as before, i can save money this way. but it's so hard, and i may have to pay more then i should. gosh, i do not know what to do. i swear she knows, i know it when she knows something. damnit. i feel so screwed up?

but, i should be responsible for it, i asked for it. ugh.

what would happen if i fall?
i've stopped thinking of some stuffs, it is good for my soul - like chicken soup.

massive pimple breakout!
i've got this humungous zit sitting on my cheek.

and i want to upload photos? but blogger is rather slow today.

life is as sweet as strawberries!

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain (58%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain. Left Brain (36%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain

Are You Right or Left Brained?
personality tests by similarminds.com

hi all! apparently i'm a right brainer.
i like being a right brainer anyway! read this!

Left Brain		Right Brain
Logical Sequential Rational Analytical Objective Looks at parts		Random Intuitive Holistic Synthesizing Subjective Looks at wholes

how true. whilst julie was cutting her hair today, tab showed me some personality test and oh it's so true! hahaha. =)

we fall down,
we lay our crowns at the feet of Jesus.

and today was so fun. i had a hair cut from a very nice beck, and everyone but Eunice thinks that i look aunty? i think my hair is OH-KAY! least it's not so thick anymore!! anyway, i guess Eunice is aunty too. and goodness me. i have zero fashion taste! gahhh. i will be more sociable!!! and i will know more about trends around the world!! ok like that's suppose to be motivating??

anyway took many many pictures? but my brother is home so i can't get the cable. -looong story. so i'll upload it another time!

Hold me close
Let Your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to Your side
And as I wait
I'll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
In the power of Your love


and i bask in your love. =)
God is good.

sigh. chinese o levels is in twenty days time. wow! and chinese is still quite foreign to me. goodness.

and i am not anticipating the mye's results cause i know i won't do well thanks to the very very last minute day-before studying thing that has been ongoing for this mid-year. and miss wong said that only 9 people passed for English? the rest is like, close to single digit marks. sigh, i can already picture mr tan's expression. he'll be like. what! your marks are something-or-other only!

and math! goodness, mrs lim said that we didn't do well, and she went on to tell us about some sec 5 classes back in some year, and they failed their math, all of them except for one. it's funny how she can talk to you about something so devastating and she can have this very amused expression on her face as if it's a wow kind of thing. hah!

and i screwed up my oral. miss chai said that i should cut down on my 'ahhs' and i am thankful that i got her. maybe cause it's a familiarity kind of thing? sigh! and anyway i can predict my geog scores already. screw it man. even miss lau knows that we didn't study for chem.

goodness. i'm fretting over o levels!!! chinese is my ultimate most hated subject ever! even i can't believe it that my parents speak chinese, very fluently at that. sigh!

and it's a HOT HOT DAY! woke up, had school came home, and i felt as if i was melting. literally.

melts; gosh, why won't singapore snow! can't we move down or up the equator? sighh. it feels like summer. what a bummer!

hi all! i've got a truck load of images to upload.. soo, it may take a while to load. and i suck at these image-with-captions thing. so if they don't come with captions, don't blame me! =) and they are not in order!! i'll only caption those i like. and take note of the bird in the bus! :D:D:D and the food. gahh the food is good. ok!

earrings! i bought that day when i was out with marill and roch.
ernie's hanky! haha! ok it's mine. cause i got it! i don't know whats kukumalu. but it's cute!
my strand of white hair??my cousin's dog! it's some mixed breed.
potato chips! good food source with abundant energy! -for exams!
ok my cousin's dog again! told you it's random!
tab's notebook! i liked the colours
oh! my earring!
ok!! crime case opp mr k's house. it's on the papers yesterday! about some fit jogger who passed out and died. sigh. life, is so unexpected. treasure every minute. :D i looove everyone!!

tab!! my ice-kachang buddy!
bird in the bus. omg. i swear it's disgusting. i'll elaborate later.
my ice kachang!! :D LOVE IT!
i think this is nice! got it off the neil humphrey's column! btw. his column rocks socks. you should read it for a laugh or two. :D
ok back to bird in the bus! :D can you see it?
memoirs of a geisha. i've been reading it for more then a month now. and yes. i'm slow.
ok scrabble with seraphina!! hahaha. the weird words we form.
more bird in the bus.
try this! it rocks. it has some jelly thing inside? but you can't see it. and you can taste it! $1.30 in 7-11 stores. $1.10 in school. lol.


now tell me, what word can i form with these tiles?? besides in?

am pang niang tofu. ok... hahaha it's this place that sells awesome tofu things, and best. it's situated just down the road. near my house. cool aye?

my mum's birthday!! bought her a cake and a bible.



cake in full!went to xian's house to do bio, cause my house was too noisy, but as usual. i didn't get anything done.

okies! now thats all my chunk of photos. off my phone that is. so pardon me if it isn't clear! sigh. and it's all messed up.

and anyways back to the bird in the bus.

on sunday i didn't go for morning service and cell, so i went for tuition. took bus twelve. and omg, i saw a bird wings and all fluttering at the back seat. i thought it was just an illusion, so i walk to the back to seat - like what i would normally do - and then i saw poop all over the seats. literally. it was gross, cause it's poop in orange. ok!? and it was everwhere can? funny how it didn't smell. and so anyway i went a few seats front. and was looking at the bird and took some shots of it. and soon! omg, it came towards me?!

*faints*

so anyway. i just moved all the way in front. goodness. it's freaky how the bird got in the bus, and has no intention of leaving; even after the man clapped his hands and tried to shoo the bird out. hahahah.

ok, i had my ice kachang on sunday! was so good! and i was so so glad i attended speedlight, cause p&w was awesome. - i was so close to not going. -


shopping tml!

marill! things will be alright! i'll be there for youuuuu!!!!

i'm so angry now, you know what i want to do?

-run
-burn wood
-tear up my news papers
-crush up paper
-scream
-yell
-run
-run
-eat ice kachang
-run
-run
-eat ice kachang
-run
-run

except that i can't do any of the above now cause it's 3.35am on a sunday morning. and i don't know exactly why i'm pissed off about. all i know is that there's so much i want to let out. and i realised how much i want to run now.

give me ice kachang. or i'll start to break bowls and cups, tear all the paper i see, smash my keyboard, throw my phone, delete this blog altogether.

but i can't do that too! cause nothing belongs to me, exception of the blog part.

GAH?! anger management.
oh i wrote an entry below too!! i feel so random and weird. goodness.

so much fustrations bottled up inside.. oh how i wish that the day will come when i throw all of it away! cause apparently talking and thinking about it will only aggravate everything.

BAH!

see, all i do is complain! :D
i watched too much television for today. and i'm so unhappy over the polling results. ok whatever! i shall not say anymore after all, it's politics! too complicated for my simple mind.

i'm hearing songs from 'piano love letters' i've no idea how did it ended up in my library. but it's nice! love oldies.

played monopoly in school today after oral (which i screwed up) monopoly is fun! and pris knows the rules so well.

exams was tough. cause i didn't prepare enough. sigh!! can't believe it's my last year and i'm slacking.[jiu yo zhi qu] thats my favorite cheng yu, cause thats all that i can remember.

as i'm blogging, i'm popping chocolates into my mouth!! ate so much of chocolates. hahaha.

some view of the houses opposite mine.. it was sunny then, so the walls looked nice and the clouds too. but can't be seen here. :(

some oriental thing my dad bought from korea. it's suppose to be chilli and something else.

lucky pen!

my brother and sis bought this while i was having tuition... =_=''' haha. but its sweet ok! actions speak louder then words! :D

class tee.

took this in KFC; boredom.

the key chain that pris gave for christmas!

sigh, won't be going for cell and service this sunday cause of tuition. hmm..
jen and irene went back to korea on monday! *sigh. my poor sis should probably be affected by it. oopsie.

sink my soul in oldies. SIGH*

im in kong's house now. was supposed to do my bio.. but....

anyway my exams are so screwed up. yawn.

shall not procrastinate.